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skellywagTitle: "The Elusiveness of True Satisfaction"
Author: Teh Skells
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Ed/Roy
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers to ep. 43, underage kissing?
“I am not chasing you because those are my orders, but because I am angry with you! Why did you run away without asking for my help?!”
Ed had smirked a little when Roy had first said those words. Hard-assed Roy Mustang, showing concern? Surely not. He had been too shocked by the sentiment to react in any other way but a slight twitch of the lips. His mind had raced, however, flying back through every interaction he had had with the Colonel, trying to find any evidence of Roy’s words in retrospect.
His thoughts were brought back to every infuriating thing Roy had ever done. That condescending voice resounded in his head; the lazy, superior look that seemed a permanent fixture on the man’s face was all he could see. Ed searched desperately through his memories for some hint that Roy’s words were sincere.
True, the Colonel had helped him in the past, but not without his fair share of trials. He had taken the State Alchemist’s exam on the man’s suggestion, and on the train trip to Central City Ed had been used to help avert a military situation from getting out of control. As he filtered through the past four years, more and more he discovered that while yes, Roy had given him a great deal of help towards his goals, nearly every single time the Colonel had had ulterior motives of his own.
“I’d like to have a word with you, Colonel,” Ed growled, his voice rather higher than it should have been, and far more angry. He ignored the worried looks from those around them, pretending not to hear Winry’s and Al’s objections as he glared at Roy’s back expectantly. He hadn’t really noticed that their entire procession had paused around him for his focus on the man in front of him.
He watched Roy turn slowly, saw Hawkeye try to placate the man and his teeth gritted with some unknown emotion at the sight of her hand comfortable at the Colonel’s elbow. “Alone,” he added uncertainly, shifting his weight to his automail leg.
Roy gazed at the blonde discerningly before giving an abrupt nod, brushing Hawkeye away. “Continue to camp,” he commanded. “Fullmetal and I will be along when he is satisfied.” The soldiers all saluted, and led their three civilians companions away to much objection. Once they were out of earshot, he turned to the young blonde, dark eyes possessing more knowledge than they betrayed. “What would you ask of me?”
That cool, emotionless voice was more than Ed could stand, especially after the conclusion he’d arrived at. With a furious snarl, the blonde closed the distance between them and slammed Roy against the nearest tree, a little surprised to see that he’d transmuted his automail arm to press a blade to the Colonel’s throat. “Name one thing you have ever done for me that you didn’t have your own motivation driving you! Why should I have asked you for anything?”
“You expected me to act any different?” Roy asked, his tone a little shocked, though it didn’t seem to be from the fact that he had a blade pressed to his throat. He closed his eyes and then opened them, and all semblance of disbelief had left his expression, replaced with his usual collected façade. “Of course I had to act as though I were acting to further my own goals. I couldn’t let my superiors find out that I had fallen in love with a child. A very mature child, but a child nonetheless.”
Ed’s eyes widened in shock, instinct driving him back a few steps. Without conscious thought he returned his automail to normal, his thoughts careening out of control. There were far too many things wrong with what he’d just heard for him to be able to process the information.
Colonel Roy Mustang had been the bane of his existence for nearly four years. He could not recall having a single civil conversation with the man. Not only that, but the Colonel was his superior, and represented an institution he despised. But even if the situation posed no problem, there was the simple fact that Roy was at least ten years older than him and male. Not that Ed had really given women more than a second glance, but his circumstances hadn’t provided him with the opportunity to experiment with relationships, and he really hadn’t given much thought to sexuality except to realize that most men were interested in women, and he figured he must be one of those and that surely Roy was. It was this fact that the boy focused on, unable to even consider reconciling the others.
“But…the women…” Ed objected finally, his eyes wide and vaguely frightened, as though he would bolt at any moment. “I’ve heard the rumours about you. That you indulge all the women who throw themselves at you.”
“I take them on dates for appearances only, and have nothing else to do with them,” Roy replied easily, slowly beginning to advance toward the blonde. “It would not do for a highly-decorated officer and State Alchemist to show obvious interest in the same gender. I’m too high profile to be open in my interests, and even more so because the object of those interests is a sixteen-year-old boy.” The man pulled off his right glove and tucked it into his pocket, reaching out to brush his knuckles against the blonde’s jaw gently.
Ed shuddered violently even at that slightest of touches, part of him wanting to run. To run from the decision he knew he would have to make, to run from the emotions warring within him, and to run from the fact that deep down he didn’t want to run at all. He had been starved for affection for far too long, and he craved to be touched. More that that, though, if he were brutally honest with himself, he craved this man’s touch, approval, more than anyone else’s. “But why?” he murmured, inclining his head just slightly with the tender touch to his face.
“You, Edward Elric, are the most amazing person I have ever had the honour to meet. The things you are capable of, the fact that you don’t even know how to give up. Again and again you have impressed me. Even were I interested in women as well, still would I have fallen in love with you, and everything you represent.”
Roy was even closer now, and Ed could feel the man’s breath puffing gently across his face. The blonde closed his eyes, savouring the light feel of it and the subtle scent of spearmint. “I always thought I wasn’t good enough to earn your approval, and part of me was too stubborn to actively seek it,” he admitted softly, a faint blush rising to his cheeks.
With one final step, the distance was closed between them, and Ed emitted a soft sigh as he felt Roy’s hands cup his cheeks, cradling his head gently between them. “You have always had my support and approval,” the man murmured. “I simply kept that fact from you because I sought to use my supposed disapproval to keep you motivated, hoping that such a thing would even matter to you.”
Before Ed could even think of a response, he found his mouth covered by surprisingly gentle, pliant lips. He hesitated only a moment before he began returning the kiss, eyelashes fluttering faintly as his arms wound up and around Roy’s neck. The blonde had never been kissed before and so had no prior experience to compare, but he was quite sure he could be perfectly content to kiss no one else but Roy for the rest of his life.
When the man’s tongue began tracing along his lower lip, Ed’s mouth opened easily, his own tongue meeting the other’s tentatively. It was so odd to be kissing the Colonel, and even more so due to the fact that it was so hesitant, nearly tender. But at the same time, Ed couldn’t imagine anything feeling more right.
All too soon for the blonde’s liking, Roy ended the kiss, though both of them were panting their breathlessness. “We are expected back at camp,” the man whispered. “Have my answers satisfied you?” His thumbs brushed gently over Ed’s cheeks, still cradling the boy’s face as though he were loath to break contact completely.
“Your answers have, yet your actions leave me wanting more,” Ed breathed, gazing into obsidian eyes, unable to look away. His arms tightened around the man’s neck, and the blonde pressed himself more appealingly to Roy.
“You forget yourself and your priorities, Edward,” Roy chided gently. “This is neither the time nor the place, much as I would like to oblige you.” He pressed a kiss to Ed’s forehead. “You have you brother yet to think about, and I need to get back to Central City now that I have done what I intended to do.”
Ed’s eyes widened in shock as he realized that he’d completely forgotten about Al. “Damnit,” he whispered, clinging to Roy and burying his face in the man’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I forgot.” He bit his lower lip sharply as he raised amber eyes to gaze searchingly into the Colonel’s face. “Thank you,” he breathed. “For caring enough to keep me on task, whether I realized it or not.”
“When you fulfill your purpose and reach your goals, promise that you’ll come back to me.” It was said abruptly, as though the man had not heard the boy’s expression of gratitude.
The blonde was a little taken aback, but he wanted desperately to reassure Roy, but he knew his future was uncertain. His own survival meant nothing to him if he couldn’t restore Al to normal. “I am not going to lie to you,” he murmured finally. “I am in no position to make any promises except that I will keep the one I made my brother.” He gazed up at the Colonel steadfastly, though inwardly he wanted to run away and cry. “I will return to you if it is at all possible, though.”
Roy sighed, drawing Ed into a tight embrace, and the boy knew the man was loath to let him go. He himself felt the same way. “I have never stood in your way before, and I won’t now, as desperately as I would like to.” He brought their lips together in a fierce kiss, as though he were trying to persuade the blonde to return through action alone. Finally, panting heavily, they drew apart, and Roy pulled off his other glove, tucking it into Ed’s pocket without a word of explanation. “You will be escorted to Rizenbool,” Roy murmured quietly, stroking the boy’s cheek affectionately. “After that, your mission is your own to complete. The only help I can offer you now is to delay my return to HQ to give you a head start.”
“Thank you,” Ed breathed, turning his face to press light kisses to the man’s fingertips, a hand working into his pocket to finger the glove within reverently. “You have satisfied me in this short time more than anyone ever has. I love you,” he whispered, before quickly turning and heading towards camp, hand still shoved deeply into his pocket and into the ill-fitting glove as well. He couldn’t bear to turn back, knowing he wouldn’t be able to walk away if he saw the man’s expression.
Roy remained in the forest a great deal longer before he finally followed Ed back to camp. His jaw was stiff with resolve, and it was probably due to this that no one asked what had transpired in the forest, nor why he wore only one glove.
~Fin.
Author: Teh Skells
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Ed/Roy
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers to ep. 43, underage kissing?
“I am not chasing you because those are my orders, but because I am angry with you! Why did you run away without asking for my help?!”
Ed had smirked a little when Roy had first said those words. Hard-assed Roy Mustang, showing concern? Surely not. He had been too shocked by the sentiment to react in any other way but a slight twitch of the lips. His mind had raced, however, flying back through every interaction he had had with the Colonel, trying to find any evidence of Roy’s words in retrospect.
His thoughts were brought back to every infuriating thing Roy had ever done. That condescending voice resounded in his head; the lazy, superior look that seemed a permanent fixture on the man’s face was all he could see. Ed searched desperately through his memories for some hint that Roy’s words were sincere.
True, the Colonel had helped him in the past, but not without his fair share of trials. He had taken the State Alchemist’s exam on the man’s suggestion, and on the train trip to Central City Ed had been used to help avert a military situation from getting out of control. As he filtered through the past four years, more and more he discovered that while yes, Roy had given him a great deal of help towards his goals, nearly every single time the Colonel had had ulterior motives of his own.
“I’d like to have a word with you, Colonel,” Ed growled, his voice rather higher than it should have been, and far more angry. He ignored the worried looks from those around them, pretending not to hear Winry’s and Al’s objections as he glared at Roy’s back expectantly. He hadn’t really noticed that their entire procession had paused around him for his focus on the man in front of him.
He watched Roy turn slowly, saw Hawkeye try to placate the man and his teeth gritted with some unknown emotion at the sight of her hand comfortable at the Colonel’s elbow. “Alone,” he added uncertainly, shifting his weight to his automail leg.
Roy gazed at the blonde discerningly before giving an abrupt nod, brushing Hawkeye away. “Continue to camp,” he commanded. “Fullmetal and I will be along when he is satisfied.” The soldiers all saluted, and led their three civilians companions away to much objection. Once they were out of earshot, he turned to the young blonde, dark eyes possessing more knowledge than they betrayed. “What would you ask of me?”
That cool, emotionless voice was more than Ed could stand, especially after the conclusion he’d arrived at. With a furious snarl, the blonde closed the distance between them and slammed Roy against the nearest tree, a little surprised to see that he’d transmuted his automail arm to press a blade to the Colonel’s throat. “Name one thing you have ever done for me that you didn’t have your own motivation driving you! Why should I have asked you for anything?”
“You expected me to act any different?” Roy asked, his tone a little shocked, though it didn’t seem to be from the fact that he had a blade pressed to his throat. He closed his eyes and then opened them, and all semblance of disbelief had left his expression, replaced with his usual collected façade. “Of course I had to act as though I were acting to further my own goals. I couldn’t let my superiors find out that I had fallen in love with a child. A very mature child, but a child nonetheless.”
Ed’s eyes widened in shock, instinct driving him back a few steps. Without conscious thought he returned his automail to normal, his thoughts careening out of control. There were far too many things wrong with what he’d just heard for him to be able to process the information.
Colonel Roy Mustang had been the bane of his existence for nearly four years. He could not recall having a single civil conversation with the man. Not only that, but the Colonel was his superior, and represented an institution he despised. But even if the situation posed no problem, there was the simple fact that Roy was at least ten years older than him and male. Not that Ed had really given women more than a second glance, but his circumstances hadn’t provided him with the opportunity to experiment with relationships, and he really hadn’t given much thought to sexuality except to realize that most men were interested in women, and he figured he must be one of those and that surely Roy was. It was this fact that the boy focused on, unable to even consider reconciling the others.
“But…the women…” Ed objected finally, his eyes wide and vaguely frightened, as though he would bolt at any moment. “I’ve heard the rumours about you. That you indulge all the women who throw themselves at you.”
“I take them on dates for appearances only, and have nothing else to do with them,” Roy replied easily, slowly beginning to advance toward the blonde. “It would not do for a highly-decorated officer and State Alchemist to show obvious interest in the same gender. I’m too high profile to be open in my interests, and even more so because the object of those interests is a sixteen-year-old boy.” The man pulled off his right glove and tucked it into his pocket, reaching out to brush his knuckles against the blonde’s jaw gently.
Ed shuddered violently even at that slightest of touches, part of him wanting to run. To run from the decision he knew he would have to make, to run from the emotions warring within him, and to run from the fact that deep down he didn’t want to run at all. He had been starved for affection for far too long, and he craved to be touched. More that that, though, if he were brutally honest with himself, he craved this man’s touch, approval, more than anyone else’s. “But why?” he murmured, inclining his head just slightly with the tender touch to his face.
“You, Edward Elric, are the most amazing person I have ever had the honour to meet. The things you are capable of, the fact that you don’t even know how to give up. Again and again you have impressed me. Even were I interested in women as well, still would I have fallen in love with you, and everything you represent.”
Roy was even closer now, and Ed could feel the man’s breath puffing gently across his face. The blonde closed his eyes, savouring the light feel of it and the subtle scent of spearmint. “I always thought I wasn’t good enough to earn your approval, and part of me was too stubborn to actively seek it,” he admitted softly, a faint blush rising to his cheeks.
With one final step, the distance was closed between them, and Ed emitted a soft sigh as he felt Roy’s hands cup his cheeks, cradling his head gently between them. “You have always had my support and approval,” the man murmured. “I simply kept that fact from you because I sought to use my supposed disapproval to keep you motivated, hoping that such a thing would even matter to you.”
Before Ed could even think of a response, he found his mouth covered by surprisingly gentle, pliant lips. He hesitated only a moment before he began returning the kiss, eyelashes fluttering faintly as his arms wound up and around Roy’s neck. The blonde had never been kissed before and so had no prior experience to compare, but he was quite sure he could be perfectly content to kiss no one else but Roy for the rest of his life.
When the man’s tongue began tracing along his lower lip, Ed’s mouth opened easily, his own tongue meeting the other’s tentatively. It was so odd to be kissing the Colonel, and even more so due to the fact that it was so hesitant, nearly tender. But at the same time, Ed couldn’t imagine anything feeling more right.
All too soon for the blonde’s liking, Roy ended the kiss, though both of them were panting their breathlessness. “We are expected back at camp,” the man whispered. “Have my answers satisfied you?” His thumbs brushed gently over Ed’s cheeks, still cradling the boy’s face as though he were loath to break contact completely.
“Your answers have, yet your actions leave me wanting more,” Ed breathed, gazing into obsidian eyes, unable to look away. His arms tightened around the man’s neck, and the blonde pressed himself more appealingly to Roy.
“You forget yourself and your priorities, Edward,” Roy chided gently. “This is neither the time nor the place, much as I would like to oblige you.” He pressed a kiss to Ed’s forehead. “You have you brother yet to think about, and I need to get back to Central City now that I have done what I intended to do.”
Ed’s eyes widened in shock as he realized that he’d completely forgotten about Al. “Damnit,” he whispered, clinging to Roy and burying his face in the man’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I forgot.” He bit his lower lip sharply as he raised amber eyes to gaze searchingly into the Colonel’s face. “Thank you,” he breathed. “For caring enough to keep me on task, whether I realized it or not.”
“When you fulfill your purpose and reach your goals, promise that you’ll come back to me.” It was said abruptly, as though the man had not heard the boy’s expression of gratitude.
The blonde was a little taken aback, but he wanted desperately to reassure Roy, but he knew his future was uncertain. His own survival meant nothing to him if he couldn’t restore Al to normal. “I am not going to lie to you,” he murmured finally. “I am in no position to make any promises except that I will keep the one I made my brother.” He gazed up at the Colonel steadfastly, though inwardly he wanted to run away and cry. “I will return to you if it is at all possible, though.”
Roy sighed, drawing Ed into a tight embrace, and the boy knew the man was loath to let him go. He himself felt the same way. “I have never stood in your way before, and I won’t now, as desperately as I would like to.” He brought their lips together in a fierce kiss, as though he were trying to persuade the blonde to return through action alone. Finally, panting heavily, they drew apart, and Roy pulled off his other glove, tucking it into Ed’s pocket without a word of explanation. “You will be escorted to Rizenbool,” Roy murmured quietly, stroking the boy’s cheek affectionately. “After that, your mission is your own to complete. The only help I can offer you now is to delay my return to HQ to give you a head start.”
“Thank you,” Ed breathed, turning his face to press light kisses to the man’s fingertips, a hand working into his pocket to finger the glove within reverently. “You have satisfied me in this short time more than anyone ever has. I love you,” he whispered, before quickly turning and heading towards camp, hand still shoved deeply into his pocket and into the ill-fitting glove as well. He couldn’t bear to turn back, knowing he wouldn’t be able to walk away if he saw the man’s expression.
Roy remained in the forest a great deal longer before he finally followed Ed back to camp. His jaw was stiff with resolve, and it was probably due to this that no one asked what had transpired in the forest, nor why he wore only one glove.
~Fin.
