Fucking guys...

Ok, apparently I'm good enough to make out with, but not good enough for a relationship. This happens far too often for it to be coincidence. I've never had a relationship last more than two months, and nearly always, it was the guy breaking up with me. It fucking hurts to think someone can't stand to be around me for longer than a month or two. All I want to do right now is cry, and I can't, because I've become too toughened for that, or so I think. I never cry when it will do me the most good.

Ok, so most of this will make no sense to you, but oh well. I'm not in the mood to elaborate. And plus, I'm far too embarrassed by how naive I am to admit what happened. Does this used feeling ever go away? I just hurt so much...I think my inferiority complex just took a nosedive... It's not even really a matter of any particular guy, though I really did like this one. It's that relationships never seem to last. The only two relationships that have lasted that I've ever been a witness to are not something I would want for myself. My stepfather hits my mother, and they are constantly at one another's throats. My father and stepmother are likewise always at each other's throats. If that's what a relationship is supposed to be like, maybe I would be better off alone. I mean, I know there are lots of people who live happily and have been together forever. But with my background and the fact that I've never really seen a really steadfast relationship myself, how could I possibly be that lucky?